“I didn’t like your advertisements I saw in the magazine. Your picture makes you look so egotistical.”
Wow! I love that honesty! It came this week from a participant in my workshop at American University in Paris.
After you speak, what do people say to you? …think of you? While there’s usually considerably more to the story than just the few words we actually hear, what we hear can teach us a great deal about ourselves, where we are in our development, and what we need to improve. What’s the rest of the story?
First, let me say that after twenty years of ‘stage time,’ I’m finally starting to know who I am as a person and who I am on stage. I know that different cultures perceive me differently and that my ‘animated’ style isn’t for everyone. In Europe, where I spoke this week, my style can tend to be too much for many people. I get that. Though I may make some subtle adjustments, I won’t — I can’t — change who I am. That would be inauthentic and my personal prayer is to always be authentic.
Working with emerging professional speakers in France, one of the challenges we uncovered is credibility. At a speakers’ conference in Paris, I was asked, “How can I show my credibility?” Great question.
Public speaking as a career is actually quite new in France, compared to the 40 years of history that was established by Zig Ziglar, Jim Rohn, and their colleagues in the United States. As for a new speaker having credibility, we need to remember that public speaking is your medium for communication of an expertise. Credibility comes from the results you get with clients. It comes from your accomplishments in other areas of your life. I’d rather listen to a presentation on successful relationships from someone who’s been married for 40 years, than from the winner of a ‘speaker of the year’ award. Although entertainment is a great bonus, as a listener, I want proven content.
If you’re just getting started, great. Go get some results. Speak for free and help clients. At the beginning of a career, ‘testimonials’ are more valuable than money if you want to build a sustainable business. Also, testimonials from clients that you’ve helped with your expertise between speaking engagements add to credibility. If you haven’t helped people in your ‘topic area’ don’t take the stage yet. For example, it really pains me when I see somebody teaching social media from the platform who never earned a dime from social media. That’s what makes people skeptical of legitimate experts.
A comment I hear frequently is that, “Darren’s all about marketing.”
Yes, I focus on marketing, but only after content and results. Some say there were other magicians at the time as good as Harry Houdini. There probably were, but while Houdini was a great magician, he was the best marketer. How do we know that? We’re still talking about him!
My articles are content-rich so that people want more. In Europe, it has come to my attention that their perception of many speakers from the U.S. is they are only out to sell while delivering very little content. Personally, I love that because it helps me stand out when I find opportunities to prove myself. How do I do that? I strive to provide better content than they’ve ever seen.
Which is exactly what I’m telling the emerging French professional speakers. If you don’t have amazing content yet, go get it. That’s not to suggest to go steal somebody else’s content. That kind of a reputation is worse for your career than bad content. Help people. Get results for clients. That is your credibility. Offer to coach a reputable professional for free. Offer that if you get them results, they’ll give you a written or video testimonial. That is credibility.
What Are You Worth?
If you don’t market, maybe you don’t believe in your own value. Do you ever drive down the street and yell at a billboard? “You jerks! Look at them investing time and money in an advertisement, they are so full of themselves!” LOL. That cracks me up. Do you know what it really means when you see ads from the same companies for many years? It not only works, it also means that enough people bought their product and didn’t return it to keep them in business.
What are your goals? Where would you like to be in your business? What do you consider your ‘sales platform?’ Presentation skills? Relationships? Would you like to get there rapidly — or would you rather keep it so slow that you may not even see your own progress? Look back a year or two. Were you at the same place then? If you’re growing, keep doing what you’re doing.
If not, consider what my friend Claudia did. A native of Mexico, Claudia decided she wanted to learn English. She didn’t just get a book, she moved to Toronto. Not knowing anybody, she immersed herself in an English-speaking country and stayed there in that learn-or-suffer environment. Wow! She was serious about learning English. She ‘burned the boats behind her,’ as it has been said.
Necessity is a greatest inspirational teacher. Last year Claudia became the Public Speaking Champion from Mexico… in English! That’s no coincidence. She took the same mindset of being a serious student of the English language and applied it to public speaking.
Rewiring a Career
When I met my friend, Guy Burns, he was a Las Vegas electrician with a dream. As a Toastmaster, he was making some progress. He came to all of my boot camps, invested in many of my programs, decided to immerse himself in learning even more. He applied to two of the public seminar companies and got accepted by both. After being with the company for a while, he decided to step it up. He immersed himself even more and — at his own expense — traveled to observe and learn from the best in his company. Would you ever invest four days to change your weekly income? After one of his immersion trips, he had his best financial day ever. The trip paid for itself. Not only did he become the best at teaching his subject for that company, I invited him to coach alongside me in Paris.
Guy immersed himself to become the best and yet he continues to learn. He has been immersed in our World Champions’ EDGE program for years and still attends the Lady & the Champs Conference every year. I’m not saying this to brag, but his success is the best compliment I can get. I’m quite clear that, while I had a little part in his success, the credit belongs to Guy.
Many people have learned from me, and Guy did more with that learning than most. It was his willingness to take action and immerse himself that brought his success. He was also a sponge for the material from Patricia Fripp, Craig Valentine, and many others. He’s now living his dream, speaking more than 100 times a year and travelling to Europe monthly. I’m delighted to have been one of the right mentors to Guy.
Your Turn to Mentor
What kind of mentor are you? Even if you don’t have the ultimate credibility in your industry, consider will you be a better mentor tomorrow? I know that there are smarter mentors I am now, more experienced mentors, mentors with different styles. Yet, I believe you’d be hard pressed to find one more passionate about their intent to help presenters. I know there are many who match my passion with their own style. Find the mentor, the teacher with whom you are willing immerse yourself. Alan Weiss, PhD, a mentor of mine, suggests you find the author you like and read everything they’ve ever written. I love that — that’s a full immersion program.
If this sounds like I’m defending myself, I am. More importantly, I’m defending the dream inside you. Your goal is inside you — it’s the person you want to become.
I meet literally thousands of people each year. It’s hard to remember everyone, never mind knowing them by name. Ed Shanley is a person I remember. How does he stand out in my memory after meeting him two months ago at Lady & the Champs? He then came to the Train-the-Trainer and Get Paid to Speak Champ Camps. He invested in my Get Paid to Speak program and — more importantly — he’s already using it and checking off the checklist at the end. He was the first one from the Champ Camp to commit to the YouTube Challenge the students from class decided on. He got involved in our online EDGEnet community. That’s how I know his name; he’s committed to his goal and immersed himself.
Seek your mentors to help you achieve your goals and dreams. It’s okay to be skeptical initially, but search for credibility. Once you find the ones who resonate with you, be open to their guidance. Immerse yourself in their learning. Consider your mentor’s point of view. If you continue to be skeptical once much proof is offered, maybe you need to follow a different mentor — or maybe you need to look in the mirror!
Dreams and goals are not easy to achieve. If they were easy, they’d just be tasks. Be willing to be uncomfortable in order to grow. If you took away my struggle, you’d take away my growth. If I chose the wrong teachers, I’d have struggled in the wrong direction — a tragedy.
If you’re a presenter or mentor, welcome skepticism as helpful feedback. Most people have been burned by someone they believed. We can’t help everyone. We can be passionate about constantly becoming better teachers, creating better models, making our processes easier for our students to understand. If you ever have a skeptical student who, after they start getting results, continues to give you challenges, encourage them to find a different teacher. Maybe you aren’t the best fit. Let them go. Often their true challenges have nothing to do with us; there’s a deeper ‘wound’ from elsewhere.
It ‘s OK to be skeptical, just like some of the participants I had in Paris. They were skeptical, which is healthy, but came to see for themselves to make a more informed judgment. I honor that, no matter what they thought afterward! If they didn’t like my animated style — good! They found out that I might not be the right teacher for them. I’m cool with that. There are many great teachers of world-class speaking.
I say, “Thank you” to the person who told me my picture looks so egotistical. The person who said this went on to tell me how much the program was enjoyed and how glad they were that they came. People who know me, like the photo, but they already know me. That’s great feedback, which I love.
And now for the rest of the story about credibility. The same participant who told me they were initially skeptical actually ended up investing in one of my programs to learn more. They had been humble enough not to solely judge on first sight, and came to seek a deeper proof.
When looking for the right person to direct your progress, read their articles, watch their videos, get a “taste” of what they do. If you don’t like the taste, spit it out! Move on to the next chef. If you like the taste, take another bite. Just keep in mind that after a few enjoyable bites, you may have reached the point that for true success, it’s time to immerse yourself.
Please share your thoughts below!
Stage Time,
Darren
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P.S. Got Challenges? Looking for mentoring? We’ve created two immersion programs where you can stay connected and ask me and others about your challenges along your journey.
1.) Getting Paid to Speak… how to get started or earn more as a speaker, no matt what your level. www.GetPaidToSpeak.com
2.) Presentation & Public Speaking Skills www.WorldChampionsEDGE.com
Not only have Guy, Ed, and Claudia been a part of the Champions’ EDGE program, here are some videos from members who have stayed connected and continued to learn. See what the EDGE program has meant to them over the years… in their own words!
Deborah Reisdorph, Mastery Member… Click!
Kim Meyers, Mastery Member… Click!
Ed Shanley, Mastery Member… Click!
Shel Taylor, Mastery Member… Click!
Walt Grassl, Mastery Member… Click!
Jennifer Leone, EDGE Member… Click!
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